Do you love the holidays? I do!
I have visions of get together's, incredible food, happy faces, giggles, laughter....
Those visions create a feeling of anticipation & excitement for the most part. BUT today, I am missing the days of yesterday when kids were little, drama was less, my parents and the hubs parents were here and the annual gatherings in our lil home were FULL! I mean 'standing room' only on occasion. #memories
Now, Let me rewind several years...
My dad, who was an avid smoker developed COPD (https://www.copdfoundation.org/What-is-COPD/Understanding-COPD/What-is-COPD.aspx) several years ago. I guess when you smoke, you should naturally expect to develop something lung related. That was his opinion. Everyone dies someday of something. And did I say he LOVED smoking! Even after being diagnosed, he would remove his O2 and puff, puff, puff when opportunity presented itself.
Growing up, I was a daddy's girl, another story entirely, and I mimicked him & my brothers in everything! The competitive side of me (I felt like I was missing out on something) led me to pick up my first cigarette at the tender young age of 9 years old! (Yes, I said 9!!) I was of the generation that thought smoking was 'cool'. You're a #badass with a smoke hanging out of the corner of your mouth and what a rebel I was blowing the hugest smoke rings around! Ya, I was proud! (SMH)
Even with my dad contracting illnesses, needing oxygen, being in and out of the hospital for respiratory issues, I used cigarettes as a coping tool. If I was pissed off, I smoked. If I was stressed, I smoked. If I needed to keep my mouth shut (a difficult task for me no matter) yes, you guessed it, I SMOKED.
I smoked without any true realization of consequence until I witnessed him taking his last and final breath.
He died.
His body gasped for his final breath and I fainted...
To be continued....
Til Next time ~
Domesticated Rebellion
To be continued....
Til Next time ~
Domesticated Rebellion
No comments:
Post a Comment